Wonderfully described definitions

[Vamsi99]

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the
other


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the
notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number of people present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine
water-power

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage


CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later
on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river

OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the Eiffel Tower, says in midway, "SEE I
AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first
letter in OPPORTUNITY


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from any other, except that he got caught


BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills